Let's Test That Theory
by 27vampyresinhermind
Summary: Noah makes a bet that if Rachel pretends she isn't Jewish, his mother won't like her. Rachel is positive that she can win the woman over no matter what. It was supposed to be a fun experiment. A/U one-shot! Slight Smuckleberry!


**a/n: Hello there! The idea for this one-shot came from a reality show called Russian Dolls. In an episode I watched, one of the girls decided to break up with the guy she was dating because he wasn't Russian and her family would never approve of him. Like always, Puckleberry runs rampant in my mind at all times and I started laughing at the fact that Puck and Rachel would never have that problem. But then I thought, what if Rachel pretended she wasn't Jewish, would Puck's mom still like her? That's where this backwards idea started and this is the product of it. It's A/U, set in NYC and Queens. Hope you like it! I don't own Glee but I'd love to hear your thoughts anyway! Thank you!**

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><p>Rachel thrashed her head against the pillow, her body arching up off of the bed, as she listened to the animalistic grunts coming out of her boyfriend. She felt him wrap his arms around her middle and the next thing she knew, his warm mouth was sucking at her neck as their chests pressed close together. She rolled her hips onto his until she felt him swell inside her. His thumb trailed down her side until it landed between their connected bodies. Rachel clamped her hands down on his shoulders as he started to rub his thumb in harsh circles around her clit causing a crazed scream to erupt from her lips. Her orgasm ripped up and down her body with an insane amount of intensity, forcing her to push her forehead against his just to keep from throwing her head back and howling all over again.<p>

His breath was hot on her skin when he laid her back down on the bed and pulled out. She whimpered softly and settled back on the sheet. He laid down beside her, breathing heavily into the bedroom, until she looked over at him.

"Okay, it doesn't matter how many times you try to distract me with sex Noah. I'm not just going to forget about it." Noah rolled over and kissed her shoulder.

"Maybe I should try harder then," he whispered, making her skin tingle. Rachel shoved lightly at his shoulder but it just made him chuckle.

"This is serious. I really want you to meet my dads but that means I want to meet your mother as well. Now I swear, if you keep trying to dodge this conversation with sex, I will be forced wear a chastity belt every single time I come over here. The sex is fantastic but we're talking about this whether you like it or not." Rachel watched his familiar hazel eyes darken all over again. He reached out to cup her face with a devilish smirk.

"God baby I love it when you get all forceful and shit." Rachel rolled her eyes and pulled away from him before he could capture her lips and make her forget her name. She kicked the blankets off of her legs and got out of bed, tugging one of his plaid shirts on after she found her panties. She stomped out of the bedroom and immediately heard his half-hearted cries of 'Rachel come on baby'.

Rachel sat down in the oversized lounge chair in his living room and crossed her arms. It wasn't long before he walked in behind her. She turned her eyes up at him but kept her face straight ahead, lips pursed and legs curled up under her. The way she had her body curled up in the chair, he could actually have sat down beside her but the way she was looking at him told him that was a dangerous idea. He took a seat on the ottoman in front of her and leaned over so his elbows were on his knees. She was thankful (for the most part anyway) that he'd put on boxers before leaving his room. She really didn't need any more distractions.

"I'm sorry babe," he offered softly, reaching out to try and stroke her leg with his finger. She pulled away and scoffed.

"Are you ashamed of me or something? Is that why you don't want me to meet your mother?" Her voice was distant, like it always was right before she was about to start crying.

"Of course not Rach. The fuck would I be ashamed of you? You're beautiful, talented, sweet, badass, everything I could want in a woman wrapped up in a tiny little fireball of a package. I couldn't be ashamed of you if I tried." Rachel swallowed deeply and nodded her head almost cynically.

"Then why is it that whenever I bring up wanting to meet your mother, you're first thought is to get me in bed?" Noah scratched the back of his neck for a second, like he was thinking of an answer.

"That's not exactly fair seeing as how my first thought whenever I see you _at_ _all_ is to get you in bed. It was actually my first thought when I _met_ you." Rachel let out a frustrated growl and rubbed her temples with the tips of her fingers.

"Unbelievable. Just _unbelievable_ Noah. You know what, if you're not going to take this seriously, maybe I should just go home tonight." She moved to get up and he quickly circled his hands around her waist to keep her in the chair.

"No I don't want you to go home. I want you here, with me." She sat back down but crossed her arms again. "I'll be serious, promise." When Rachel still didn't look convinced, he took a deep breath. "It's not that I don't want you to meet my mom. I don't want my mom to scare the ever loving shit out of you. She's crazy. Her crazy makes you on a bad day look like a coffee break. I don't know if you actually know what you're getting yourself into when you throw around phrases like 'I wanna meet your mother'." Rachel rolled her eyes again and looked away.

"That's stupid," she started. "I can handle myself just fine and you know it. This is a step that I want us to take Noah but you have to cooperate with me. Are you worried that she won't like me or something?" Noah arched his eyebrow and leaned back on his hands to get a little more comfortable.

"Oh she'll fucking love you on sight because you look like Hebrew Barbie." At that statement, Rachel's eyes went wide and she gasped aloud.

"You're absurd. Are you really telling me that your mother would only like me because I'm Jewish? There are plenty of other reasons to adore me that have nothing at all to do with my heritage and I think your mother would be interested to know them before making such snap judgments." Noah started to laugh and shook his head.

"See babe, when you say things like that, I'm just reminded of how much you don't know my mom. This is a woman who has actually used the phrase 'if only Mother Teresa had been Jewish'. At my bar mitzvah, she got up on stage in front of all my friends and announced that the _goyim_ needed to stay out of her son's pants because she wanted Jewish grandbabies. You remember Brittany right? I dated her in high school. My mom called her Eva Braun one time, claiming that she just couldn't be bothered to remember her actual name. Brit didn't have a damn clue who she was talking to but still." Rachel sat speechless, just balking at the way he described the woman. But then she shook her head dismissively, deciding that he was exaggerating for effect.

"No one is that terrible, not even your mother. And besides, even if what you say is true, that was all quite some time ago. I'm sure she wouldn't do or say things like that now." Noah stood up, still chuckling softly, and walked around the living room. If she didn't know any better, she'd think he was pacing.

"Alright, you wanna see that I'm right? This weekend, we'll drive down to Queens, we'll have a meal with my mother. And you're gonna be you're awesome hot self, except for one thing. You're not gonna be Jewish for the entire night." That made Rachel stand up, hands on her hips and ready to fight.

"Are you kidding me? You just called me Hebrew Barbie, I can't stop looking the way I look and I sure as hell am not converting to anything else for a night just so you can make a point." Her finger was waving in his face and she was getting all hot and bothered.

"Why not? You think my mom is going to love you whether you're Jewish or not. Prove it. It'll be an experiment. Pretend it's an acting exercise or something. You're from Jersey, you could pull off Italian if you tried hard enough. You can borrow a cross or something from that bitchy blonde friend of yours, act Catholic, I promise you my mom will have you running out of her house before dessert." Rachel threw her hands up in the air and released the most irritated growl he'd ever heard directed at him, and that was saying something.

"Oh my god I can't even count how many offensive things you just said! Fine! I'll go along with your asinine little game only because I know that I can win your mother over with my personality and tenacity. You're going down Noah Puckerman, and when I prove that she likes me no matter what religion I am or she thinks I am, I expect you to grovel at my feet and proclaim to the world that I was right and you were wrong." His brow remained arched and skeptical but Rachel stood her ground. Finally, with a smirk still tugging on the corner of his lips, he nodded his head.

"Deal. Now can we go back to bed? We gotta be at the studio early tomorrow morning and I'm pretty sure there's at least six more orgasms in you before we can pass out."

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><p>Rachel sat in the car with a scowl on her face. Noah just laughed at her.<p>

"I don't know what you're so pissed about. You wanted to meet my mom, you're about to meet my mom. You're getting what you wanted Rach." Rachel then turned so her scowl was directed at him.

"I didn't want to lie to her the first time I met her though," she hissed. "And for the record, I still think this is dumbest idea you've ever had, and that includes the time you tried to get me to have sex on my balcony." He laughed again at the way she crossed her arms in a huff.

"As I remember it, by the time I got your skirt flipped up, you were _begging_ me to fuck you and you didn't give a shit where we were. That was a good idea, and so is this one. And if you're a good girl tonight, I'll make sure you're a _very_ _dirty_ girl when we get back to the city." Rachel felt her cheeks flame, coupled with another all too familiar burn between her thighs. That damn man never fought fair.

Rachel fiddled with her blouse as she felt Noah's hand push softly at the small of her back. Strolling up the little path to the front door of Hannah Puckerman's home, she'd never felt so self-conscious in her life. Noah leaned down and whispered in her ear,

"Stop worrying so much baby. She'll just make you _wish_ you were dead, not actually kill you. Or," he added with a smug tone, "are you doubting your ability to win her over on personality alone?" That arrogant little question forced Rachel to steel her nerves and meet his eyes directly.

"Not at all," she lied easily, even though he could see right through her façade, "I'm understandably nervous about meeting my boyfriend's mother for the first time, regardless of extenuating circumstances." They made it up the three steps and just as he was about to knock on the door, Rachel grabbed onto his arm. "My relationship with this woman is starting out on a lie. Please don't make it more difficult on me than it already will be." The softness in her eyes, the slight fragility in her voice, Noah could tell that this meeting meant a lot more to Rachel than he'd originally thought. It almost made him want to call off the experiment since she seemed to be so worried about it. But then the idea of backing down wasn't really appealing.

"Oh my mom'll take care of that for me." He softened a little at her expression and leaned down to kiss her soundly on the mouth. "For tonight, you're gonna be my hot little _Italian_-American princess instead of my Jewi—" Rachel put her hand up to his mouth to stop his speech.

"Honestly Noah, how many times do I need to tell you that I find that term very offensive?" He quirked his eyebrow up and she could feel his indignant smirk against her palm. "Just remember who gets you off," she warned. At that, his eyes suddenly smoldered and caught her off guard. When his tongue pressed flat against her hand, she jerked it away, all the opening he needed to pull her body flush against his and kiss her like there was no tomorrow. She released this little whimper of a moan as he molded his body to hers. Her eyes were a little glassy when he pulled back, that smug grin still present on his face, and said,

"Don't worry babe, that's something I can never forget." As Noah reached up with his hand intent on tilting her mouth to his again, the door swung open wide, a dark-haired woman standing there with her hand on her hip.

"You forget how to knock or were you waiting on a formal invitation," the woman stated, brow arched not unlike the man's standing on the porch. Noah backed up from Rachel's face and slipped his hand into hers.

"Nice timing Ma," Noah remarked with a sigh. He wanted to laugh as she gave Rachel a discreet once over, apparently liking what she saw. Boy was she in for a surprise. "Ma, this is Rachel. Rachel, this is my mother." Rachel had opted out of wearing the cross she'd borrowed from her friend Quinn but it didn't matter too much. He was gonna make sure this experiment went according to plan, with or without Rachel's cooperation.

"Rachel, such a lovely name. Dinner's waiting in the kitchen." Rachel sighed as she followed Noah through the house. So far, so good.

"Is Ellie home for the weekend," she heard Noah ask. They crossed the threshold into the kitchen and Rachel could see that the woman had made an insane amount of food for just three people. Then again, with Noah's appetite, it probably wouldn't go to waste.

"We had a fight yesterday and she left in a huff. Bubbe called earlier to tell me she's staying with her. Maybe that woman can talk some sense into her." Rachel watched as Noah immediately went over and started helping his mother set the table, as though it were just an automatic thing. She'd noticed that whenever they ate together at his or her apartment, he always set the table as well. Knowing where it came from though, made her heart clench just a little.

They hadn't got two bites of food into their mouths before Hannah eyed her son across the table. "So Noah, have you been to Temple lately?" Rachel cringed inwardly, knowing on instinct what was about to pour from Noah's mouth even before he said it.

"Actually Ma," he grinned devilishly, "lately I've been going to Mass with Rachel. It's not as bad as I thought it'd be." Without even looking up, Rachel could feel the suspicious look that Hannah shot her. It was literally like a switch had been flipped in the room. Rachel had honestly believed she was making fantastic progress in getting on the woman's good side. Now the tension was simply stifling.

"I'm sorry honey, did you just say _Mass_?" The question had been directed at Noah but Rachel felt as though the scrutiny was all on her. Noah just nodded his head, that damned smirk still in place. Hannah then cleared her throat and spoke again. "So, Rachel was it, what did you say your religion was," the woman asked in a clipped tone. Rachel almost balked. She'd gone from _what a lovely name_ to _what was your name again_ in the span of about fifteen minutes. Rachel resisted the urge to point out that she'd never actually said anything about religion but instead replied with the uneasy lie,

"Roman Catholic ma'am." Hannah's eyebrow ticked up at that. Rachel looked over to see that Noah was about to pee his pants from stifling his laughter.

"Oh," Hannah replied, a touch of condescension in her voice, "and you were so adorable when I first saw you." Rachel was pretty sure she heard her mutter "pity" under her breath but she couldn't be completely sure. But that couldn't be the end. She was determined to bring back that sweet voice she'd heard at the beginning of the night.

"Mrs. Puckerman, these latkes are wonderful," she complimented, completely aware of how desperate she was coming off. Hannah snorted just a bit but smiled across the table at her. That would've made Rachel happy were it not for the wicked gleam that accompanied that smile.

"Well maybe one day my Noah can find a nice girl who can make latkes for him. I guess you'll do until then." Even Noah's eyes widened at that comment but he just cleared his throat and shot his mother a reproachful look. Hannah returned it with her own nonchalant expression as if to say 'what'. Rachel bit her tongue against the retort that wanted to spill from her mouth and continued to look at Hannah with a look of disbelief etched on her face. "Oh Noah," the woman began cheerily, "I just found out that Miriam's daughter, Elizabeth, is single again. You remember her, don't you? You two used to be inseparable." Noah actually choked a little on his water when she said that and Rachel couldn't believe that she'd even heard her right. Surely she wouldn't try to fix him up with someone else while she was sitting in the same room, at the _same_ table!

"Um," Noah looked at Rachel, surprised that she was hiding her no doubt pissed feelings behind a mask of false curiosity. "Are you talking about the girl whose hair I cut in preschool Ma?" Hannah nodded her head enthusiastically.

"That's her. She's absolutely wonderful. I was thinking I could give you her number, maybe you two could hit it off." Rachel couldn't help the way her eyes narrowed to slits, or the way her grip tightened dangerously on her fork. Noah put his arm around Rachel's shoulders and she could tell that the action seemed to remind Hannah of her presence.

"That's great ma but I'm with Rachel. Not really interested in other girls." Rachel wanted to give Hannah and bright haughty smile when her boyfriend said that but his mother didn't seem too deterred. She shot Rachel a look that made her feel like she was thoroughly in the way.

"Eh, nothing lasts forever. And isn't it better to keep your options open?"

After that, the dinner only got worse. Rachel had never been so insulted in her life, and that was saying something. Hannah seemed to think nothing of dropping words like _kurveh_ and _klafte_ under her breath. The woman had actually gone so far as to insinuate that Rachel would use a pregnancy in order to insure Noah would stay with her. Rachel wasn't really sure which insult to be more offended with, the dig at her weight (which was just fine) or the implication that she would be so manipulative. Each jab at her that the woman would throw, especially the ones in Hebrew and Yiddish, Rachel tried to pretend as though she didn't understand them. But each one felt like a shard of glass being stabbed into her skin. Hearing the brutal, downright horrid, things that Hannah Puckerman said about her, as she sat right across the table from her, it hurt far more than it should. This experiment was a ridiculous idea true, but she'd never anticipated that anyone could be so ruthlessly mean without provocation. It hurt, a lot. No matter what Rachel said to try and impress the woman or get her to like her, nothing worked. When Hannah said something about 'the _italyener shikseh ku_', she just couldn't take it anymore.

Rachel slammed her hands down on the table in the most unladylike manner she could muster. "That's enough," she spat with venom, "I came here tonight to meet my boyfriend's mother. Please inform me if she shows up because all I see before me is a rude child." Hannah sputtered with indignation while Noah lightly placed his hand over Rachel's on the table, no doubt trying to calm her down before an actual fight started. Rachel just shook him off and stood up, her chair scraping harshly against the floor. "For the record, I am not a _whore_ or a _bitch_. I also did not lure your precious son into my bed. He got there of his own volition just fine." A hateful smirk crossed her face as she looked back at the woman across the table. "Uh huh, I've sat here understanding and enduring every single insult you've thrown my way tonight mistakenly thinking that I wouldn't know what was being said. Well surprise, I am Jewish. Not Catholic, or even Italian for that matter. The woman who gave birth to me was Jewish, my fathers who raised me are Jewish. I. Am. Jewish!"

Hannah visibly swallowed, anger bubbling up to the surface as she turned to her son. "Noah, _what_ is the meaning of this?" Her voice was tight, strained, as though she was trying to avoid further embarrassment and keep from yelling. Noah took a deep breath, prepared to explain everything, but Rachel felt like she was on a roll already so why quit now?

"Oh I can answer that," she spoke with false humor in her tone, "you see Mrs. Puckerman, ever since Noah and I started dating, he's told me absolute horror stories about you. Naturally I assumed he was exaggerating details and making up stories for dramatic effect. No woman could be _that_ bad. Then, when I finally told him that it was important to me that I meet you, he told me you would adore me because I look Jewish. I just couldn't believe that a woman who'd raised such a wonderful man on her own could be so judgmental." She paused to take a break, watching as her words landed as furiously as though she'd thrown actual punches. "I told Noah that I could win you over with my personality. So, he devised an experiment of sorts to prove me wrong. I had to pretend to be Roman Catholic and still get you to like me. I was perfectly fine until you started making horrible remarks about me in Yiddish thinking that I wouldn't know what you were saying about me as I sat right in front of you. All of your snide and hurtful comments did not fall on deaf ears, I can assure you of that."

Noah chanced a look up at Rachel and was just a little surprised to see the unshed tears welling up in his girlfriend's eyes. He hadn't realized how much his mother's insults had gotten to her, even though they were based on totally false pretenses. Seeing Rachel so obviously affected by the results of the experiment, which was only supposed to be a game anyway, made him angry. He was mad at his mother for so ruthlessly making Rachel feel like shit. But he was madder still at himself for doing little to nothing to stop it from happening. He'd only wanted to prove he was right about his mother. Rachel was never supposed to actually get hurt. Rachel continued speaking, unaware of his inner monologue.

"Congratulations Noah, you were right. Your mother is a vindictive shrew. And congratulations to you as well _Hannah_. Your son did in fact find a Jewish girl. Now normally, I wouldn't be this rude or outspoken, especially during a meeting of this sort, but it seems as though politeness and good manners have taken a backseat at this dinner table so I refuse to sit here and take it any longer."

Still unable to completely meet Rachel's eyes, Hannah turned to her son again. "Noah is this true?" Beside him, Rachel scoffed and muttered her own string of insults, some Yiddish, others in clear English.

"Yeah ma, I had the idea that Rachel should pretend that she wasn't Jewish for tonight to prove that you only ever like girls I date if they're Jewish. Sorry about lying and everything but, well you proved me right." Another look up at Rachel's now stoic expression and he added bitterly, "thanks."

Hannah opened her mouth to speak but Rachel was far past listening. "Look, this dinner was obviously a terrible idea. Noah, please give me the keys. I'll wait for you in the car." With an almost indiscernible nod in Mrs. Puckerman's direction, Rachel said, "the food was _much_ better than the company." Noah didn't even try to hide his proud smirk as Rachel stormed out of the kitchen. She'd just delivered the perfect insult/compliment that rivaled even ones he'd heard his mother flippantly pass out like playing cards over the years. He waited until he heard the slam of the front door before he wiped his mouth and stood up with another smirk aimed directly at his mother.

"You believe she's Jewish _now_," he asked, still ridiculously proud of the way Rachel had just laid into his mom with such ferocity and passion. He felt his stomach do a little flip because he knew her passions well. Without another word or glance, he turned and followed the path Rachel had made to the front door, leaving a still stunned Hannah Puckerman sitting at the table with her mouth open.

The first thing he saw when he stepped outside was Rachel furiously wiping at tears that were now freefalling. Noah rushed to her side of the car and tried the door handle. She'd locked the doors and his attempt to open it seemed to make her jump out of her skin. Once she saw that it was him, she relaxed a little but made no other moves. "Rach, babe, open the door," he pleaded through the clear window. She just crossed her arms.

"I'm not going back in there. I want to go home Noah. Just take me back to the city, back to my apartment, and I just want to forget this atrocity of a night ever took place." Noah smiled softly through the glass and tapped on it until she looked at him again.

"I'm not asking you to go back inside. Just wanted to get you out of the car for a second so I can talk to you. Please Rachel." Seconds passed before she moved to unlock the door but the second she did, Noah wrenched it open. That action seemed to make Rachel think he was angry. She started crying softly again as he tugged her out of the car.

"Oh my god Noah I'm so sorry. I know I made a complete fool of myself but I just couldn't take it anymore. I've gone through the ridicule when people would say things behind my back thinking that I didn't know what was being said. I won't have it happen again when I can do something about it. I just couldn't take it anymore." When her voice went up an octave higher than normal, Noah placed his hands on her shoulders and rubbed.

"Shh babe, it's okay," he whispered. Her eyes were wide as she stared up at him. Noah pulled her closer until she was wrapped snug in his arms and kissed the top of her head. "Rachel, what you did back there, that was probably one of the hottest fucking things I've ever seen. _Ever_. You were incredible. I can't even tell you, like, seriously." Rachel looked up at him, eyes holding even more surprise than before, and released a sigh that was full of questions. Instead of letting her say anything though, Noah just fingered a loose tendril of hair away from her face and bent his mouth to hers.

Rachel was honestly just happy that Noah wasn't angry with her over the way she'd treated his mother. She eagerly returned his kiss, slipping her tongue against his and melting in his arms.

"Look, I'm sorry about the way everything went down tonight. I'm sorry you got hurt. I'm not taking you back to your apartment though. You're coming home with me," he rasped after a moment. She saw no reason to argue with that.

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><p>Noah was lounging in his giant chair with his laptop checking his email when he heard a knock on the door. He and Rachel had ordered take-out earlier so he got up and grabbed his wallet out of his pocket. Not bothering to check the peephole, he opened it up and started fishing the exact change out.<p>

"Noah Puckerman it has been three days," came a screeching voice from his doorway that caused him to look up so fast his neck popped. His hands, the money gripped tight, froze in midair as his breath sped up. "You don't answer when I call, you don't return my messages, I don't know if you're still angry with me or you got hit by a crazed taxi driver in the street!" His eye twitched a little at the guilt-trip she was trying to pull but he crossed his arms over his chest.

"I think your safest bet is to just assume I'm still angry. What are you doing here ma?" She made a motion like she wanted to come inside but he really didn't want to let her in. But then, what kind of son would he be if he forced his own mother to stand outside in the hallway? Noah snorted to himself a little as the ironic answer 'a son of a bitch' floated through his mind.

"When you wouldn't answer any of my calls, I decided to come into the city so I could talk to you myself. I want to see your girlfriend Rachel." Noah followed his mom into the living room and waited until she turned back around to face him before he shot her his patented 'you gotta be fucking kidding me' look. Rachel was in the shower but he didn't want his mother knowing that.

"Oh you're calling her by her name now? I wasn't sure you even remembered her name after you just started calling her whatever the fuck you wanted to the other night." Hannah cringed a little when he said that but didn't lay into him the way he'd expected her to. "I'll admit that getting Rachel to go along with that whole thing wasn't the best idea in hindsight and I should've stopped it before it got as bad as it did but that doesn't excuse what you did ma. Rachel doesn't wanna see you and I don't blame her. You really hurt her feelings." His mother stiffened for a second but then a determined look came across her face again.

"That's why I need to see her Noah. That's why I've been trying to call you since you two left the house. I feel absolutely horrible over the way I treated her. It was inexcusable. You have to take me to her so I can apologize for my behavior." Noah had never known his mother to apologize for much of anything before. Naturally, he was skeptical.

"Are you apologizing because you made her feel like shit or because she's _Jewish_ and you made her feel like shit?" The guilty look she was now sporting was completely foreign to him. This was insane.

"All of it honey. I won't lie and say that I'm not positively thrilled you're with a Jewish girl but I never should have made the comments that I made when I was under the impression that she was Catholic. Now take me to her. I have to apologize." Noah was about to open his mouth and tell his mom that she needed to go back home and let him take care of it but then he heard the bathroom door shut.

"Noah you're almost out of your body wash and I really like the way it smells. If you want, I can pick some up when I leave the studio tomorrow." At that moment, Noah was really glad that his near constant pleas to get Rachel to walk around his apartment nude hadn't taken affect. She emerged from the hallway with one of his giant towels wrapped twice around her small frame and shaking another one over her head. Her smile instantly disappeared when she looked up and saw Hannah standing there in front of her boyfriend. "Oh, you're here, just give me a second to get dressed and I'll leave." At that, Hannah rushed forward and grasped Rachel's shoulders before she could back away.

"No sweetie, I'm so happy you're here." Rachel froze, unsure of how she was supposed to react to this. She shot a helpless look to Noah but he didn't seem to know how to handle it either. "Rachel I'm so sorry for treating you the way I did at dinner. The things I said, I can't even begin to explain how horrible I feel over them. I'm sure you're an absolutely wonderful girl but I let my own prejudices get in the way of allowing me to see that. You were right, I was acting like a child and you didn't deserve that. Please honey, can you ever forgive me?"

Noah could see the way Rachel had started shivering. She was soaking wet and he purposely kept his apartment a little colder just so she would be more inclined to cuddle. (Shut up. Cuddling was fucking awesome with Rachel. She did this thing where she tucked her head up under his chin and slid her hand up under his shirt to rest on his stomach. It always made his stomach twitch when she did that.) Rachel really didn't need to get sick because his mom seemed to not realize that she didn't have any clothes on.

"Uh ma, why don't you let Rachel get some clothes on? That'll give her some time to think about it and I won't have to live through the awkwardness of having my mom hug my almost-naked girlfriend anymore." Hannah released Rachel's shoulders as Rachel shot Noah a look of gratitude.

"I'll just be a minute," she offered as she headed towards Noah's bedroom. The second she was gone, Hannah turned to her son once more.

"Do you think she'll forgive me Noah?" He'd never heard his mother sound like that before, all hopeful and shit like the worst thing in the world would be Rachel deciding not to forgive her. But then, if Rachel had been pissed off at him, he couldn't even bear to think about what it would feel like for her to not forgive him.

"I wouldn't blame her if she didn't," he said honestly. "I mean, think about some of the things you called her. You were pretty brutal, and she was really hurt by the shit you said. But, Rachel's pretty forgiving so I guess you'll just have to wait and hear what she says." Hannah's shoulders slumped a little, agonizing over the possibility that Rachel would now want less than nothing to do with her or her family. She looked at her son and saw the worried expression he wore. What if Rachel decided that, because of her ignorant actions, not only would she not forgive her but she would end her relationship with Noah as well? Hannah just couldn't accept that.

When Rachel appeared in the living room again, she was dressed in an old t-shirt that looked like Noah's and a pair of jeans with her hair no longer dripping water on the floor. Again, Hannah rushed over to her.

"Oh Rachel I just can't tell you how sorry I am. If you can't forgive me, I only ask that you not take it out on my son. Please don't break up with him over the things I said."

Rachel shook her head lightly as Hannah's plea sank in. With a soft smile, she took Hannah's hands into her own and took a breath. "Mrs. Puckerman, while I admit that your words hurt me very much, I don't want to dwell on them anymore. I can forgive you, but it might take a little time. And as for breaking up with Noah, I would never let the actions of someone else affect the relationship I have with the man I love. That isn't who I am." Hannah drew a deep breath, immensely happy and feeling like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders, and then pulled Rachel into a tight hug.

"Oh thank you honey, I was so worried. Now I'll leave and let you kids get back to your night. If it isn't too much to ask, could I possibly get a second chance at that dinner? I'd like to show that I'm not such a _vindictive shrew_ as I've made myself out to be." Rachel blushed as her own words were quoted back to her but nodded her head as she started to walk Hannah to the door of the apartment.

"I think that would be a lovely idea Mrs. Puckerman." As they reached the door, she turned and placed her hand on Rachel's arm and smiled.

"Please, call me Hannah."

When Rachel shut the door, she turned around to lean against it, suddenly feeling drained. The woman was certainly a lot to handle. "Well that was unexpected," she laughed to herself. When she didn't get a response from Noah, she looked up to see him smiling at her like he'd just discovered something. "What?"

He stepped closer until he had her caged in against the door. "So, I'm the man you love," he whispered. As his breath fanned out across her cheek, Rachel's words came back to her. They'd never used the L word before and she hadn't even been paying attention when it slipped out, to his mother no less! Almost timidly, she nodded her head as she stared into his deep hazel eyes. "That's good, because you're the woman I love." He'd been wanting to say that for a while.

While he followed Rachel back down the hall to his bedroom, he couldn't help thinking that it was pretty damn hilarious that his mother of all people had been the crazy push they needed.

_**-fin-**_

**Like it? Hate it? Let me know! I have another one-shot waiting to be finished right now and I still have yet to really map out my next multi-chapter story. Hopefully that won't take me too long. Of course, if you start missing me, feel free to message me on here, on Twitter, in a review…hehe I'm shameless I know. Thank you for the support! Hearts!**

**Meagan (musicconsumes)**


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